People chronically underestimate the powerful forces of distraction, confusion, and free will inherent in human communication that often cause conversations to drift away from desired objectives. Conversational goals are vital orientation points because they direct your effort, focus your attention, and help you cut through a haze of trivia, tangents, and distractions. Although having a clear goal doesn’t guarantee that you will achieve your objective, establishing a goal is an indispensable first step to getting what you want.
Clown Dreams
What you want to accomplish is far more important than what you want to say. Smart communicators consistently subordinate their words to their goals in important conversations, even though stifling impulsive urges is often quite challenging. Words serve goals—not the other way around. Stop letting impulsive words obliterate your goals.
Who Is It? (Part Two)
Although there are countless factors that can impact any particular situation, three factors with the greatest impact on conversational goal attainment are: what motivates, what frustrates, and what is the most opportune time for the conversation. Pay attention to these three factors to increase your odds of conversational success.
Who Is It? (Part One)
To better understand people, pay attention to the ways that situational (or external) factors shape individual behavior. Even though people are greatly influenced by situational forces, there is a tendency to overweight personality (or internal) explanations instead. To more completely understand the person, look to the situation as well.
Be My Inexpensive Valentine
Valentine’s Day may conjure up memories of doling out money on flowers, dinner, and chocolates in an attempt to make someone feel special. But the truth is that making someone feel special doesn’t have to cost money. A few words of kindness and a bit of your undivided attention are all that is required.